I find myself falling more and more in love with him the more we talk. He worries about the distance between us, the time that has slipped through our fingers, but I don't. The fact that so much time and distance lies between us only makes me more strongly aware of how special the way I feel about him is. After so many years, I love him dearly. Though he is many miles away, I feel closer to him than I do anyone else. I smile when I think about how he cautions me that he is not as great as I think he is.
I wonder why he can't see what I see? He is truly amazing. A more dedicated man I have never met. He is funny, charming, and intelligent beyond words. When he gets on to a topic of interest to him, his entire countenance becomes quite animated. I find the way his eyes light up, how his speech quickens, and he can't stop grinning to be irresistible. He is entirely too cute!
The only thing I am not sure of with him is whether he would choose me. Whether he will. Every time he says something sweet, something that hints at what he feels for me, he takes my breath away. Most days I do not dare to hope for anything more than what we have already had. In these times, love is so often unrequited or even disingenuous. How extraordinary would it be to discover that this love I feel is not unrequited, but returned in equal force? The thought alone is indescribably joyous.
Every so often I allow myself to think of a future with him. Every time that I do, the images are the same. I cannot think of us having anything less than a full life together. I would live with him, marry him, spend the rest of my life with him if he wanted that with me. I hope fervently that he does. I simply cannot imagine casually dating this man I love, not with the way he makes me feel.
When I lay next to him, everything is right in the world. I can look at all the obstacles I face without fear, without hesitation. I rest my head on his chest, feel the gentle inhale and exhale of his breathing, listen to the soft beating of his heart, and I know that there is no place in the world I would ever rather be.
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