You cannot always be talking to the one that you love. The logical part of my brain is absolutely assured of that, and tries to tell the rest of me--my heart in particular--that it is all right if we spend some time in silence. In all honesty, though, I struggle with it. When we go for a day or so without talking, I feel lonely and sad. I miss him very much. Throughout my days, I see things I would love to comment to him on, and do things I think he would find funny. It seems like second nature to me to share what happens in my days with him, and it seems like fighting the natural course of things to be met with silence.
I wonder how much different things would be if we were really together, and saw each other every day. Wouldn't that be grand? The silence would no longer bother me, I'm sure. There would be no more pressure to fill the silence with conversation after conversation. So much of how we've always been has been in silence, in each other's company. I can get far more comfort from laying my head on his shoulder and resting my eyes than I can from hours of conversation. He can see my understanding far better in my eyes than he can in hundreds of text messages.
I like to read, he likes to play video games. How great would it be for us to be able to spend time together enjoying our pleasurable hobbies? As it is, we really can't. After all, it's very difficult to carry on a conversation when you're beating a level or reaching the climax of the story.
We are less than two weeks away from my visit to him. As each day passes, I get more and more excited. I'll be there soon!
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